Dealing with Difficult People

A handful of tips to help you through the holiday season

Hey friends, the video I have for you today recently aired on my second Youtube channel called Living Swell with Peggy Hall. That’s where I bring you practical tips and positive encouragement every Friday at 5 pm pacific — hope you’ll join me then!

As we’re heading into the holiday season, some of us will find ourselves dealing with difficult people… so I figured this was a great time to revisit some practical tips for handling the hard to handle. Click below to watch:

It’s frustrating to say the least when you’re trying to

If you’ve found yourself asking, “Why are people so difficult lately?” you’re not alone.

Over the last few years, many of us have been dealing with people who seem unable (or unwilling) to face reality.

Conversations feel harder. Interactions feel heavier.

So let’s talk about it.

I want to walk you through the most common characteristics of difficult people, and share my tips on what you can do to protect your peace and your dignity.

The Hallmarks of Difficult People

1. The Contrarian

You say yes, they say no.
You say up, they say down.
You say right, they say wrong.

I once pulled up to a hotel in Chicago and politely asked if I could drop off luggage early. The attendant said no. When I started to leave, he said, “Why are you leaving? I need to take your luggage.”

That, friends, is peak contrarian behavior.

2. Argumentative Over Nothing

3. Controlling and Manipulative

4. Condescending and Critical

5. Self-Absorbed

Entire conversations revolve around them. Their trips. Their opinions. Their experiences. They rarely (if ever) ask about you.

6. Zero Empathy

They dismiss pain with phrases like:

• “It’s not that big of a deal.”

• “You should just get over it.”

They are unable to step into someone else’s shoes.

7. Emotionally Volatile

Anger itself isn’t wrong. Righteous anger exists. But difficult people often lack the ability to express emotions appropriately, leaving others walking on eggshells.

8. Defensive and Blame-Shifting

9. Uncooperative and Unavailable

11. Entitled Yet Critical of Others

12. Grudge-Holders

13. No Self-Awareness

This may be the most tragic trait of all: many difficult people have no insight into their behavior and no interest in growing.

Growth requires reflection. Difficult people avoid mirrors.

So… What Can You Do?

1. Don’t Take It Personally

This is hard. Especially if you’re empathetic. It does sting.

But— (look at #2):

2. Remember It’s Not About You

It’s about them. Somewhere along the way, they were hurt, ignored, criticized, or broken.

This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it explains it.

3. Increase Your Empathy

Sometimes I quietly think:

• That’s so sad.

• I’m glad I’m not like that.

It takes the edge off.

4. Say a Silent Prayer

Mine is simple:
“Help them, Lord.”

It lifts the weight off my shoulders.

5. Stand Your Ground

Try these phrases:

• “It may not make sense to you, but it makes sense to me.”

• “This suits me.”

• “That’s not how I see it.”

• “My experience has been different.”

You’re not arguing. You’re anchoring.

6. Handle Self-Absorbed People Skillfully

When they pause, say:
“Thanks for sharing. Would you like to hear what I have to say?”

Now they have to answer: yes or no.

7. Treat Yourself With Dignity

No one can give you the level of respect, care, and support that you can give yourself.

8. Decide Who You Want to Be

Calm. Confident. Grounded.
Decide in advance and practice that version of yourself.

9. Seek Uplifting People

Be around those who energize and encourage you.

10. Limit Time and Energy

You can’t change them. You can limit access.

If you’re reading and realizing that some of what I described sounds familiar and you’re thinking, “Oh… that might be me…” just know that awareness matters. That’s not a failure. That’s the beginning of growth. Because the truth is, we’ve all had moments where we were difficult, defensive, or closed off. The difference is whether we’re willing to look at ourselves and say, “I want to do better.”

And if you’re on the other side of this dealing with someone difficult in your life, please remember this: you don’t have to change them. You don’t have to convince them. You don’t have to win.

Your power is in standing your ground, keeping your dignity, and choosing who you want to be in the situation regardless of how they behave.

Let me know in a comment what tips you have with dealing with difficult people. I always love hearing from you!

P.S. I wanted to let you know that I’ll be taking this week off from Youtube and substack to spend more time with my (non-difficult) family and friends. I’ll be back with you broadcasting on Monday Dec 29.

Until then, for those celebrating Christmas, I hope you have a very Merry one! I’ll be counting my blessings, among them, my wonderful audience here. I’m grateful to have you on board, and I look forward to connecting with you as we sail into the New Year!

with peace and blessings,
Peggy